How to Live The Life You Want And Not Just The Life You Have

I made my first attempt at owning my own business not long after I turned 18. I tried selling Avon. Most people who know me know that I don't wear makeup (with the exception of lip gloss and, occasionally, earth-toned eyeshadow) and, honestly, I'm not very girly. I love things that smell good, but that's about the extent of it. So Avon was not a very good fit for me. Then, after I had my son I gave it another go. At that point I was already a stay at home mom, but I hated having to depend on someone else to pay the bills. But I LOVED being at home with my son. I actually cried at the idea of having to get a job that would take me away from him. So I started looking for a job that would allow me the best of both worlds -- unlimited time with my son AND the ability to contribute financially.

That's when I joined the in-home party business world as a consultant for a romance enhancement company. I have since made the decision to leave that company and join Pure Romance. Both are decisions that I believe were best for me and my family and I would not change either one. I love the fact that I don't have to leave Christian for several hours a day, every day. I love that I am doing something that I enjoy and that is meaningful. The few times since becoming a single mom that I have had to go out and get a traditional job have been horrible. Truly horrible. I don't think there is anything worse for me than to be forced to leave my son's side. And that's how I view traditional jobs -- being forced to leave his side for the majority of the waking day, every day. And usually it was to do a job that either I did not like or alongside people who were unpleasant to work with. I have tried both ways of making money, and I feel that, for me, earning money on my own terms is hands down THE way to go. I love my boss and I get to hang around the best coworker ever -- my son!

As a Pure Romance consultant, I help women (and their partners) to improve their relationship by focusing on intimacy (not just sex as so many people mistakenly believe). Often times I have had clients thank me for suggesting a product after experiencing the positive (and sometimes profound) changes that have taken place in their relationship. Now, in addition to being an intimacy advisor, I have taken on the role of being a fitness coach with Beachbody. I help people who, like me, are actively working to improve their quality of life by focusing on their fitness and nutrition. I was hesitant to do this at first, because I am not in shape myself. but I finally realized that we are all works in progress and that if I waited until I had reached my goals to begin helping others to reach theirs, I may be letting others slip into the cracks. After all, if the people before me had waited until their fitness journey was over, I would still be waiting.

I am happy with the business decisions that I have made. You know why? Because they fit ME. I have, for as long as I can remember, wanted to help others. My career goals have shifted several times since I was a child. But one theme has remained the same -- I want to serve. Now that is all I do. From improving relationships to improving health, I am helping others to live happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives. And I love that. I realize now that THAT is the key --passion.



 If you express an interest in owning your own business, I can GUARANTEE that you will be bombarded with information from left and right on the million and one different home businesses that you can start. People you didn't even realize were business owners will suddenly take an interest in your life. Maybe even people you don't know, depending on where you express that interest. Everyone will tell you that their company is the best in their field. And maybe they are (I mean, someone has to be the best, right?). But the thing is, if you are not interested in that field; if you have no passion for their mission; if you are only getting into it for the money -- you will either not be successful or you will not be truly happy. You have to find a business opportunity that fulfills both of those needs: financial stability and having a sense of purpose. Find THAT opportunity and you are well on your way to living YOUR dream.

Another thing to remember is that whether you work for someone else or you work for yourself -- it is still work. Owning your own business is not something that you just jump into and expect for everything to fall together on its own. You have to have a plan and you have to work that plan. I have admitted in the past and will admit now that it is a challenge. But it is worth it. So...to those of you who have considered entrepreneurship -- whether it is joining a company as a consultant/coach/agent, etc. or putting out your own products/services -- I say GO FOR IT! NOW! Why wait? The only thing waiting will do is cause you to wait that much longer to see your dreams come true.

This is not a ploy to get you to join my companies (though I will definitely answer any questions you may have). This is me pushing you to live your life by design, not default. Believe in your dreams. Have faith in yourself. Envision what you WANT your life to be (not what you think it can be, because those are two completely different things) and then create a plan that will get you there. Then, this is the key, put that plan into action. Create a vision board that clearly illustrates your "why" (mine is the ability to remain a stay at home mom, personal freedom, financial freedom, and serving others) so that you will always have that to focus on and motivate you. With a big enough "why" ANYTHING is possible.

As a matter of fact, RIGHT NOW, sit down and just write down two things:
1. What you want your life to be like. Address as many details as you can. How would you feel emotionally? Physically? Spiritually? Where would you live? How much would you make each month? Each year? Where will you go on vacation? What assets will you own? What would you do in your free time? How many hours would you work per week?

2. What do you think is your primary purpose in life? What legacy do you want to live behind? What do you want to be remembered for? Being a giving person? Being helpful? Entertaining others? Making people smile? Helping people achieve their goals? What job would you absolutely LOVE to wake up each morning to do?

Answer these two questions and you have some insight into (1) your "why" and (2) your personal mission statement. Now, do some research on business opportunities that are aligned with your mission and that can, with dedication on your part, lead you to your dream life. Please share what you learn with me by posting on this blog or by visiting me on facebook (https://www.facebook.com/SingleMommyWarrior?ref=hl)

Before you leave, make sure you subscribe to my blog so that you will receive updates when I post new things. Also, if you love what you see, PLEASE share it with your friends and family.

Yall have a great day!!!
Tiffany- Single Mommy Warrior

I LOVE this quote by Henry David Thoreau. Don't you?

Legit Work At Home Jobs

If you know me at all, you know that I am all about working from home. Whether you are in direct sales/network marketing, sell things that you create online, provide services for people, or start your own company, I think that is the best way to financial freedom because it also comes along with a great degree of personal freedom. Creating several revenues of income (both passive and residual) is the best route. That's why, in addition to my Pure Romance and Beachbody businesses, I also will provide childcare occasionally and  I do a bit of "freelance" work. I am always looking for new ways to make extra money, which is why today's Yahoo article on legitimate WAH jobs really caught my attention. Check it out! http://finance.yahoo.com/news/7-legitimate-home-jobs-20-070210442.html.

God is Good!

I've been cycling through emotions all weekend and it all came to a head yesterday. I won't go into super details here, but I will tell you the basics. About a month ago, I reconnected with a "friend" who had wronged me in the past. I try to give people second chances and this was hers. Not too long after we reconnected she asked me if I could babysit her 7 children. I wanted to help her out, and I also needed the extra money so I agreed. They could only afford to pay me $20 a day even though I was watching 7 kids for 10 hours. Not a lot at all. But I did it anyway. The first two times they paid me when they got back home then they asked me if I could wait until their next payday. Long story short, on Friday they told me they didn't need me anymore and that they would pay me by a certain date. All of my emails (except one) went unanswered. As an employer, I was not upset. I had my free time back and could dedicate more time to MY family. However, as their friend (or at least I considered them friends) I was upset. Long story short, they didn't pay me when they said they would so I came by their house. Much to my surprise, they came out of nowhere and accused me of stealing dvds, diapers, and wipes. None of which is true.At all. When I threatened to call the police (btw, I immediately filed a police report and went to the small claims court to see how I could collect what I was owed), all of a sudden the story switched from me stealing to me being neglectful. Complete and utter lies from pathetic excuses of human beings.

 Everything in me knows that it is because they have been having huge financial issues themselves and probably just couldn't afford to pay me or did not want to. So instead of just being honest and saying that they could not pay me (like a respectable human being would do), they grasped at straws to justify their refusal to pay. And I feel stupid now, since I believe that they used me for free childcare and that I opened myself up to it by reconnecting with them. The worst thing is that, yet again, I have people who I trusted and who were important to me (Christian and I had both bonded with them) totally screw me over.

And even though they were only paying me a pittance, I really needed that money to pay a bill. I had been counting on it and was actually going to go straight from their house to the water company to pay my bill. By not giving me what I was owed.So ever since yesterday I have been cycling back and forth from being pissed, being hurt, and being frustrated. I have been praying to God about the negative emotions I have been feeling: hatred, spitefulness/vindictiveness, pain/hurt. I have also been praying for him to resolve my financial issues. As I said, I needed that money. And it is not likely I will get it back. One, because they are pathetic. Secondly, because it would cost me more than what they owe me to file to get what they owe me. Of course, when I win the case, they would also be responsible for any fees I have to pay for court costs. But I simply don't have the money to put up to pursue reimbursement. And the police can't force them to pay me. So unless the Lord works on their hearts, I don't foresee me getting the money. So I have been praying to God to provide me with another means of income. I do Pure Romance and Beachbody but neither one is where they need to be yet (though I am working at it).

Anyways, I check my bank account this morning. I already knew how much I had in there, but I couldn't stop myself from checking even though I knew it would just depress me. Lo and behold, I have more money than I had had in there last night. Apparently, I got a refund check from my car insurance company. I have no clue why they owed me anything, but it's there. Then I remembered that I still had a few articles that I needed to submit for my freelance job. Those two things together will more than cover what I am owed. So...yay! God has, as usual, shown that he hears my prayers and that he has His hands all over my life. I'm sitting here crying now as I typed this because His presence is just so obvious. I was so worried because I only $20 in my account that wasn't designated for bills and I didn't know how I was going to pay the bill that is coming up in a few weeks. But now I don't have to worry about that anymore.

I honestly don't ask for much. I want my bills to be paid, to have food on the table, and for my son to be healthy and happy. We have a pantry and refrigerator/freezer filled with food (I actually had to give some to my brothers because I didn't have the space). I don't have insurance, but my son does. And somehow my bills always get paid. And we are happy. That's all I ask for in life and God has been providing it. And more. There was a time where I doubted God's presence in my life. But I realize now that He has always been there. it wasn't until my situation became such that I really needed Him that I saw how he works in my life. All those times when I would need a job and would just happen across one and get hired on the spot. The times when I could have died but didn't (though I've never been seriously hurt, I have been in several situations where I could have easily died). He has been there all along. And he still is.

Striking a Balance

As a single mom, a fulltime graduate student, and owner of two businesses, I have learned very quickly that if you don’t have balance in your life, you are pretty much setting yourself up for stress, burnout, and failure. Personally, I am a HUGE procrastinator. Especially when it comes to school. I have been that way for a long time because, to be honest, I crank out my best work when the pressure is really on. Great for my grades, but horrible for my stress-levels. I also feel that when your life is out of balance you will always feel some level of guilt because, more than likely, something is being put on the side burner. For some of us it is the quality of our work. For others, it is our families.

I admit that balance is something that I have to continuously work on. Sometimes I throw myself into my work a bit too much. As the sole source of income for my little family, and as someone who does not have a traditional job, when my businesses are slipping, I do feel the strong need to kick up my efforts to make sure my bills get paid. And I know when I have crossed the line because my son lets me know when he feels like my attention is being diverted just a bit too much. I am also guilty of allowing my son to run my life at times. I guess you can call it single parent guilt. Since your child doesn’t have both parents, you feel like you have to overcompensate. With me and my son, this plays out with me sometimes putting off things that I HAVE to do (such as homework assignments or submitting articles for my freelance job). It’s definitely a challenge trying to find the perfect balance between my family, work, and school.

A Life in Balance

So what do you think of when you think of a balanced life? For me, balance means harmony. In culinary arts, a well-balanced meal is one that contains not only ingredients that form a nutritious meal, but ingredients that blend well and complement each other without any one ingredient overpowering the others. In the world of music, balance involves bringing together music and/or voices that work together to form a piece that is pleasant to the ears and even inspiring and uplifting for the spirit. The same holds true for life. When your life is balanced, all of the aspects of your life work together. This results in a life that is challenging (without being too stressful), fulfilling, and pleasurable.

Life is made up of several facets (though these facets may be different from one person to the next). It can include family, spirituality, finances, health, work, social, personal growth, recreation/hobbies, intellectual, romance, and much more. When your life is in balance, you may not be able to spend equal amounts of time in each of these areas, but your goal is to spend a sufficient amount of time in each of these areas in the long run. More importantly, you want the quality of the time you spend in each of these areas to be high. If you will allow me a cheesy analogy, it’s sort of like baking a cake. Not enough flour and your cake won’t rise. Too much baking powder and it may crack and fall apart. If you don’t have the proper blend of ingredients, you end up with a messy dish and a likely disappointed family. Life is the same way. Spend too much time working, and your family and social life will suffer. Neglect your health and several other areas will be affected. Neglect yourself and just about everything suffers. It is essential that you achieve balance in your life.

Having it All: Mission Impossible?

Then there is the final piece of the pie—yourself. You want to be selfless and put your family first. But, at the same time, if you are not healthy and happy, you won’t be able to be the parent/spouse/employee/student/insert –other-role-here that you need to be. If you are always tired because you are doing too much, pretty soon every sphere of your life will be negatively impacted. 

So, the question becomes, how do you achieve the perfect balance in your life? You may think it’s impossible to do, but finding the perfect balance is as realistic as it is important.  What achieving balance really boils down to is knowing what is important to you and making the decisions about what comes first in your life. When you know what you value the most, when it comes time to make decisions, you will have a goal to be the driving force behind these decisions. They may not be easy decisions, but they are easier to make when you know what you want in your life. It’s sort of like living by a rubric.

Finding Your Balance

Here are some things to keep in mind when you are seeking a balance in your life:

1.      Have Your Priorities Clear. Know what is most important in your life. Identify what it is that you values the most and align your life around those things. This makes it easier to say no to things that are of no value to you.

2.      Get organized. Have a plan for your life. Not just long-term plans, but daily plans. Wake up every day with a purpose. If you have to sit down once a week (or every night) and plan out every single hour of your time, do it. It may seem silly, but it will make your life so much easier. Rather than living a life of reaction, you will be living out one of action. Trust me, those are two completely different lifestyles. When it comes to this, keep the Boy Scouts motto in mind: Be Prepared. When you plan ahead, it makes unexpected occurrences easier to deal with.

3.      Be flexible. Speaking of unexpected situations, if you are flexible and adaptable, you will have a much less stressful life than people who are of the mindset that things HAVE to go this way and this way only or the world will come to an end. Sometimes, things happen that you were not anticipating and couldn’t have anticipated. Sometimes your plan has to change. It’s a fact of life. When things like this happen, you should be able to roll with the punches. You should also be able to forgive yourself when you can’t do things the way you wanted to. You don’t have to be perfect.

4.      Have a daily routine. As I mentioned before, it’s important that you live a life of action, not reaction. By having a daily routine, you make it easier to do this. By establishing healthy habits, you are also helping to replace tension and stress with relaxation and calm. Some things that I recommend you find time for each day are exercise and meditation (in the form of prayer, quiet time, journaling, etc.). A great time for this is either in the morning (so that you can mentally prepare yourself for the day) or at night (so that you can reflect on the good things that happened during the day and/or purge yourself of the negative things so that you can get a good night’s rest. If you can do this twice a day, it’s even better.  You should also take some time during the day to reenergize yourself. Some other key things to implement on a daily basis are eating healthy meals and snacks, staying hydrated, attending to your personal hygiene, and getting a good night’s rest.

5.      Establish a support network.  There is no way that I can overemphasize the importance of having a network of family and friends that you can depend on. More important, though, you need to be able to let go of your pride at times and ask for or accept help when you need it.

6.      Keep it Simple. Think back to step number one: your priorities. Now apply that concept to your schedule. If something is not a priority for your life. Eliminate it from your life. What’s the point on spending time on things that don’t even matter in the long run? All that will result in is you feeling overworked and probably unfulfilled. 

A Little Homework for You

Here’s something I would like for you to try. It’s called a life-balance wheel. It will show you what aspects of your life are important to you and which areas you should be focusing on more/less to achieve a better balance in your life.

1.      First, draw a big circle on a sheet of paper and divide it into 8-10 equal pieces. It should look like a sliced pizza or pie.

2.      Label each “wedge” with an area of your life that is important to you (family, spirituality, health, work, relationships, finances, personal growth, etc).

3.      Rate your level of satisfaction in each area. Imagine the outside of the circle as complete satisfaction and the center of the circle as complete dissatisfaction. In each “wedge”, place a dot that corresponds with your satisfaction in that facet of your life. For example, if you are moderately satisfied with your spiritual life, you would place a dot in the middle of the spirituality wedge.

4.      After rating each area of your life (honestly), connect the dots that you have made. This will create a new outside perimeter for your circle. Now, imagine that this circle were a wheel. If it were rolled down the street, would it roll nice and smooth or would it be a bumpy ride? This represents your life. Your goal is to make it a smooth ride.

5.      In order to create a balance in your life and achieve that smoothness, you need to focus on the areas of the least satisfaction. But you must do this without creating dissatisfaction in the other areas. Remember, you should be looking at each piece as a part of the whole.

Which part of your life is the most out of balance? What can you do to remedy that?

Reflections

Man, I sit here and think about my life and am struck by how absolutely I know that money is NOT everything. Back in the day, I had a "fiance" who paid the bills. He didn't make much but at least we had a roof over our head and our basic needs met. And we even had extra money for fun stuff. That's what we are supposed to want, right? A man to take care of us. Financially, he provided for us, but emotionally and physically he treated me like shit. He cheated on me continuously. He physically abused me. And worst of all, he made me feel like I somehow brought it on myself. Almost as though I deserved it. But I could never quite swallow that pill. If I had been able to believe that it was my fault, I would probably still be in that relationship -- fighting to change myself in the hopes of changing him.

Anyways, not many people know this, but I actually found out he was cheating after we got engaged but BEFORE I found out I was pregnant. I broke up with him and was set on that being that. But then I found out I was pregnant. And I went back. Part of it was because I believed my unborn child needed two parents (and with the stigma against single moms, why would anyone willingly go that route). But largely because I was afraid. How was I supposed to raise a child by myself? I was afraid I was not enough to provide for him/her. So I stepped way out of character for me and stayed with someone who had done the unforgivable (because, once you lose my trust, it's gone forever). Because of money. I found out about another "incident" when I was 5 months pregnant, and paid the price for confronting him when he attacked me and sent me to the hospital, fearing for my child's life. And I went back (eventually) because of that nagging, smothering fear of not being able to provide for my unborn son. I was MISERABLE but felt like it would be worth it as long as my son was taken care of. After I became a single mom, I worked at more than one job that I HATED and that literally made me sick. Why? Because I needed the money. I was ripped away from my son for 8 to 10 hours a day. I spent the majority of my waking hours either doing something I hated or working with people that were just a HUGE drain on my energy and happiness. Because the bills had to get paid and I was the one who had to do it.

Right now, I am a single mom who works (primarily) from home. Business is tough right now as one business has hit the summertime clump and I continue to try to get the other business up and running. I pay the bills, but some months are a lot harder to get through than others.

Just two days ago I was faced with the fact that I was $200 short of being able to pay my bills. Facing losing my car a mere month before it was fully paid off. Yet I do not wish that I had a man to pay my bills. I do not regret quitting those jobs. I do not regret the choices I have made. Because I finally realized a little over a year ago, that money is not the answer. God is. When I broke down and stopped worrying and just gave my troubles over to God, he took them and he blew them away like dust. And he continues to do so. I just continue to do what I can and have faith in Him to do everything else that I can't and things always come together.

I don't have a bank account brimming with cash, but I have a house, my utilities are all paid for, and my car will be paid off. I have a beautiful, loving, healthy, HAPPY son who is the light of my life and who shows me every day that money (whether it is abundant or lacking) is not what makes you a good mom. Or a successful person. This past year has been a true learning experience for me and I am blessed to have gone through the trials that I went through because they have forced me to shift my focus in life. I don't need to be rich in the worldly sense. All of my riches come from another source. I may not be able to afford a big house in the Hamptons. But trust me when I say, I'm rich beeyotch!

The Reality of Direct Sales

Ok, so I am about to tell you the real deal about direct sales (or Multi-level marketing – whatever you want to call it). If you are looking for someone to tell you that it is easy and that it requires little to no effort, you may as well close this window now. Direct sales is not easy. Simple? Yes. Easy – no. Understanding this fact is critical if you want to achieve real success with direct sales. How do I know? Because this is what I do. If you are considering going into direct sales, you should definitely keep reading. It will give you the chance to start your business with the right mindset. If you are new to direct sales or have been in it for a while and have not seen the results that you want – here’s your chance to maybe see what you can do to turn that around.

Ok, so the first thing I want to say is this: Success in direct sales requires 5 things.

1.    Hard Work. Yes, you will have to work hard to achieve results. They are not just going to fall into your lap. People are not going to chase you down to get your products and services. At least not at first. That comes after you have put in the time and energy to build your business and your reputation. You will have to hustle to make direct sales work for you. But, you know what, if it came easy to you, you wouldn’t appreciate it as much. Knowing that you EARNED your success makes all the difference in the world. That sense of accomplishment can actually motivate you to push harder and reach higher.

2.    Dedication- If you want to be successful in direct sales, you have to be dedicated to what you are doing. You have to have a passion for it. This is something that you should consider when deciding on which company you will choose to align yourself with. Choose a company that you would actually enjoy working for. A company that offers products and services that you have an interest in (because if you don’t, tell me -- how you are going to sell them?). A company whose mission statement you believe in. Don’t join a company just because it’s the “in” thing to do or because your best friend since forever is doing it. Choose a company that, at the end of the day, you are devoted to and can be proud to represent.

3.    Commitment. Ok, so I know you are probably thinking “This child is a little slow. Dedication and commitment are the same thing”. Ok, so maybe TECHNICALLY they are synonymous with each other. However, think of it this way: you can be in a relationship with someone that you love dearly. They could be an awesome person and you love being with them and enjoy your relationship. You are a DEDICATED boyfriend or girlfriend. However, you may not be ready to make the COMMITMENT of marriage. It’s the same thing with direct sales. You have to be committed to your business. You have to always be willing to take it to the next level. That means committing to constant growth. Never settling – always striving to reach just a little bit further. To be a little bit better. Giving it your all. If you don’t give it your all, you won’t reap all of the benefits. Period.

4.    Perseverance. I’ll be honest…direct sales can serve you a mighty bitch slap sometimes. The highs are great and the lows make you want to crawl off somewhere, wrap your arms around your knees and just sob until you can’t anymore. There will be times when your business will become stagnant. When it hits the wall – hard. You will feel like giving up. But that’s when you should work your hardest. You can’t give up every time things get tough. Because, trust me, everyone goes through those tough times. Even the best of the best. But, you know, they wouldn’t have become the best if they had given up when things became difficult. As I said before, sticking with it during the hard times makes the good times even better.

Now, while we are talking about perserverance, I HAVE to talk about the concept of rejection. YOU WILL BE TOLD NO. A lot. Accept that. Not everyone is going to be interested in your company or what you have to offer. Some people may even be outright against it. Clients and recruits are not going to fall into your lap. You have to seek them out and cultivate them.

It may seem crude, but you have to view people like weeds and flowers. The weeds are the people who are not interested in what you are offering. The weeds are the people who express interest initially and then decide not to pursue it. The weeds are even the people who join your team for a season and then die out. What you have to be on the lookout for are the flowers.  The people who take the seeds that you plant and grow. The people who eventually help to spread those seeds and grow your business. The people who are as serious about the business opportunity or products/services as you are. The thing is, sometimes you can’t tell the difference between the weeds and the flowers. The flowers have to be cultivated properly or they will never bloom. So you have to persevere through all of the no’s until you get the maybe’s. And then keep working until those maybe’s become yes’s. If you give up because you hear “no” a lot, you will never get to the yes’s.

5.    Time. You HAVE to put in time to see results. Direct sales is not something you can get into for 3 months and expect for everything to magically be super awesome and you be able to retire at 35. It takes time to build your business. Time to learn about the business and the products. To learn the ropes and perfect your technique. To build and maintain your client base. To build and maintain your team. Generally speaking, it takes six months before your business will really start to pick up. So if you are going to get into a direct sales business, be willing to commit at least 9 months- 1 year to working it before you decide it is not for you. And if you choose a business that you are passionate about, then that should not be an issue, right?

Another thing (the most important thing): you have to treat it like a job. If you treat it like a hobby, you will make “hobby” money. Treat it like a job and you can experience the full potential of direct sales. And that means putting in time. If you are only working your business a few hours a week, your income probably reflects that. If you can go several days without doing anything in your business, I bet your business isn’t where you want it to be. You should be putting in time EVERY SINGLE DAY working your business. Marketing. Talking to people. Reaching out to clients. Training. Your business should be a priority in your life. Only when you make it a priority will you experience the success that makes direct sales such a great source of income and freedom for so many people.

So there you have it, the truth behind direct sales. You can make tremendous amounts of money in this field. You can experience financial and personal freedom. You can watch your dreams come true one by one. But you have to work for it. If you are looking for a way to make direct sales work for you, feel free to message me for suggestions and support. I’m always eager to help other people to pursue their dreams and make them a reality. :D

Until next time,

Tiffany Hathorn --- Single Mommy Warrior

Planning Ahead

So...one thing about me is that I have HORRIBLE time management skills. I manage to get things done, but am usually more than a little bit rushed when it comes to meeting deadlines. You can imagine how difficult it must be, then, to manage everything that I have to do during the day/week. In case you haven't read my other posts I:

1. Am a single mom to a 20 month old son. He is VERY active, inquisitive and (let's face it) a mama's boy. I'm not quite sure HOW  he came to be so spoiled, but there ya have it. He demands my attention all the time. All. The. Time. Yeah.

2. Am a "fulltime" grad student. Meaning I take at least one class each quarter towards my M.S. in Counseling psychology. I began the program at the end of 2009. I started off taking two classes, but switched to one when I started my 3rd trimester. Then I took a semester off when I had Christian. So, almost 3 years later, here I am slowly plugging away at these classes. Technically I only need one more class and my final project as far as coursework. However, I also have to fit in two residencies before I can graduate. But it's kind of hard to get childcare for Christian for 2 weeks (not to mention airfare and lodging costs) soooooo....here we are. Still in school. But, to be honest, my focus is on being a mom and at this point finishing grad school is more about actually accomplishing that goal than it is about actually finishing it for a purpose. I don't plan on giving up my SAHM (stay at home mom for those of you not in the know) status for a while. If, however, I can acquire a teaching position at an online school, I would take it.

3. Run a couple of businesses that allow me to pay the bills and stay at home. I am a Pure Romance consultant (this has traditionally provided the larger chunk of income, although now that summer has arrived, it has been lagging tremendously), a Beachbody coach, and a freeance writer (I ghostwrite for a website). I am also working on a couple of other passive/residual streams of income.

4. Am a budding homeschooling mom. Although most of my curriculum focuses on learning through play, I am actively working on several themes with Christian (letters, numbers, colors, shapes, foreign language, and body parts).

It's a lot to juggle. And sometimes I drop a ball. Or two. Or three. It's not easy. By any means. So...this is me trying to hold myself accountable. Starting tomorrow, the following will be our schedule:

7am: Wake up, pray, mentally prepare self for onslaught of the day, hope that Christian stay asleep for a bit longer. Exercise for at least 30 minutes.

8am: shower and have breakfast (usually Shakeology), hope that Christian stays asleep for a bit more while scarf down breakfast. Cook Christian's breakfast (or pour directly from box into bowl, depending on how feeling). Check Facebook and email.

8:30/8:45- wake Christian and feed him breakfast

9am: Throw Christian into first thing hands touch (maybe have to change it after stepping outside. On second thought, try to check the weather night before and set out clothes ahead of time)

9:08 (in case he fights/runs/poops diaper directly after I change him, shoes mysteriously disappear, etc.)- playtime. Activity depends largely on Christian's mood. Potential activities: banging on keyboard; building with blocks; throwing blocks; reading books; listening to Christian try to tell me what is happening a book -- backwards; keeping Christian from destroying books; arts and crafts, keeping Christian from creating art on doors, walls, my pants leg; trying to identify body parts, alphabet, numbers, animals, colors, etc.; spend 5 minutes pointing around the room calling everything the word of the day; dancing around the house with mad abandon to random music; screaming at the top of our lungs; crying for no apparent reason; going to library/park, etc

11am: Go through the cabinets/fridge to figure out what to make for lunch. Decide on the easiest thing. Hope that Christian eats it and doesn't yell out No! and pitch it across the room with a skill that makes me sure that if he can get over the clumsy genes he apparently inherited from me he will make a great pitcher or quarterback. Feel triumphant when he gives his stamp of approval with a prolonged "mmmmmm".

11:30-  Begin our daily fight: naptime and fervently hope that Christian does not win; Scarf down my own lunch.

12pm: Attend to business and school. Probably in that order. Make phone calls. Send out emails. Update blogs. Check and reply to emails. Compose and post classroom discussions. Compose articles for ghostwriting gig. Listen to business development cds/webinars/teleconferences. Be distracted by Facebook several times -- stopping to respond to any pertinent newsfeed happenings. Be productive! Be Be productive!

3pm: Resume play with Christian; Probably put on a dvd at some point (Meet the Robinsons; Your Baby Can Read; Language Development, etc) so that may finish up anything that was not finished during naptime.

5pm: Prepare simplest dinner possible (except on occasions when am feeling particularly Betty Crockerish)

6pm: Family chill time- usually movie and dessert. Sometimes another visit to game room but do not want to get Christian riled up so try to avoid that.

8:30pm: Begin bedtime routine (bath, story, fight until he passes out)

9pm: If Christian is actually asleep, check Facebook and email one last time. Do any work that was not finished earlier. Catch up on fave shows on Netflix.

11pm: Bedtime!

Of course, I get all the way to the end before I realize that I have not factored in any household chores. Oh well, I'll save that CHAOS for another day.

Well, apparently Christian has something to say before we head to bed. Take it away kiddo!

         plolplplplplplplplplplplplplplplplpno                p
loln

Alright. Good night all!

Get Money!

Need extra income? Maybe one of the following business ventures could help you. Seriously, check them out.

1. Ghostwriting -- With this work from home job, you write articles for a company or website. You don't get a byline credit, but you DO get paid. And you get experience. My advice, if you have a favorite website/blog, write to the person in charge of it, ask if they are in need of a ghostwriter, submit a writing sample (yeah, that's a skill that you must have, so if you don't have strong writing skills, it's probably not for you) and hope for the best!

2. Affiliate -- Again, this is all about websites or blogs that you love and frequent. If you find yourself constantly constantly talking about and referring people to the website, did you know you could be getting paid for it? Usually you get paid for each person that clicks on the referral link you provide. If the website sells things, you could be getting a cut of the profit. Hell yeah! Passive income!


3. Blogging/Vlogging -- Feel like you have something interesting to say to the world? Have a sense of humor? Good at drawing? Love making videos? Consider yourself an expert on something (social media, parenting, video games, sports, cooking. whatever)? Why not create a blog or vlog (video blog)? And if you know what you are doing, you can get paid for it. It's quite simple with applications like Adsense that you permit to post ads to your blog and then pay you per (legitimate) click.

4. Pure Romance -- for women who enjoy meeting new people all the time, feel comfortable talking in front of crowds (even if you do get nervous sometimes),and who are interested in making a couple hundred dollars in a few hours. Or who just love the products and want a good discount, lol. Huge opportunities for steady income, including passive and residual income if you build a team. Getting into this industry was the best business decision I have ever made.
www.tiffanyhathorn.pureromance.com

5. Beachbody -- I know you have seen the commercials for the products. Insanity. P90X, Hip Hop Abs. Turbo Fire. Awesome workouts to help you shed pounds and get your sexy back. but did you know that you could be the one getting PAID to lose weight instead of paying them to lose weight? As a coach, you have the opportunity to not only lose weight and get healthy, but to generate passive and residual income while you're doing it?
www.beachbodycoach.com/tiffanyhathorn

If you have interest in either of these business ventures, feel free to message me with any questions. I have experience with every one of them (except video blogging -- yet). I honestly feel like the best way to make money in this age is to be your own boss. For some of us, we have to start off slow, by having a side job. One of these could be the PERFECT one for you. Don't let fear of failure hold you back. There are so many legitimate and viable ways to make money. ON YOUR TERMS. You just have to know where to look.

!!!!!!!

Right now is one of those times when I start to freak out about how things will work out. You see, I hate when my bank account drops below a certain number, and after I pay the rent and my car note in the next week, that will happen. What has me stressed is that summertime has historically been a huge pitfall  for my party plan business. People cancel on you left and right because they have other things going on. Graduations. Family events. Mini vacations. It's frustrating because they don't seem to realize how much you are counting on them sticking to their plans with you. Every cancellation is a payday that is lost to you. And when you get cancelled on back to back, it can get scary. Very scary. Especially when that is your main source of income. For example, this month, out of 7 parties that were planned, only one actually took place. One person rescheduled. Everyone else just cancelled. And June and July are not looking any better. It's definitely tough.

However, I have faith that everything will pull through. One thing that I have learned during my time in direct sales is that there is always something you can improve upon. My problem is getting on the phone. I have no problem with approaching people I don't know about my business. I have no problem with doing the actual parties. but when it comes to getting on the phone and calling people to book parties, I'm a big fat chicken. I always feel like I am going to be bothering someone. And, honestly, I hate the idea of hearing no. I guess that is the result of me having worked as a telemarketer for the March of Dimes Jail and Bail event. People were soooooo rude (and for absolutely no good reason) that it has given me phone fear. And I need to get over that. Quick , fast, and in a hurry.

So this is my vow to myself:   I am going to work harder on getting my calendar filled, getting my Beachbody business off the ground, and cranking out these articles. I am also opening up my home for summer childcare. I am determined to not only pay the bills, but to also remain a work-at-home mom. So I am going to do what it takes to make that happen. Just gotta keep my eye on what motivates me...my son. Above all, I am going to continue praying to God to make a way for us.

Woosah!!!

Single Mommy Warrior's Goal: TRUE Wealth

True wealth, to me, is not about having more money in the bank than I know what to do with. It isn't having a huge house with more rooms than I need or driving a new, flashy car every year. It isn't being able to jetset all around the world, staying in luxury resorts and ordering $100 plates. To me, true wealth is having a happy, healthy family. It is having financial security. It is being free from stress and drama. It is having the freedom to stay at home with my son without worrying about how the bills get paid. It is being able to be an active participant in my son's life -- every day, not just nights and weekends. Yes, I would like to have enough money in the bank to live life comfortably. Yes, I would like to be a homeowner and to have a house where Christian and I both have a place to call our own for work and play. Yes, I would LOVE to be able to travel around the world with him and show him all of the wonders that God has created for us to take pleasure in. However, I have my eyes set on much more than material wealth. I want to be personally and spiritually rich.


I want to take a minute to share with you an excerpt from Dani Johnson's book "First Steps to Wealth". Dani is woman after my own heart. She went from being a broke (and I mean BROKE-- as in $2.08 to her name broke) and homeless single mother to being a multimillionaire. Listen to what she has to say about wealth. I'm sure you will agree.

"I have a holistic approach to wealth. True wealth to me is accumulating money without sacrificing your marriage, kids, health, or fun. It is crossing over from being a slave to money, to making money your slave -- getting money to work for you.

Wealth is also using your wisdom, knowledge, and skills to benefit others, such as teaching your kids how to accumulate wealth. Don't you want to know you are grooming your kids for success and not failure. You should not want anyone else to mold the mind of your son or daughter.

What about accumulating wealth without sacrificing your health? Or having great relationships with co-workers, your community, and clients? Or being able to secretly bless people who are not expecting it but are so greatly in need?

You can use your life to benefit  the lives of others. By using your intelligence and the skills you develop through the years, your accumulated wisdom can help change a family, which in turn changes a generation."

I took several things from reading these few paragraphs:

1. Be wary of what you are sacrificing in your journey to achieve your goals. If you are neglecting your family, friends, health, or happiness it probably isn't worth it. I know sooo many people who make good money (or enough money) at their jobs but they are MISERABLE. To me, if your job is  keeping you from your family, making friendships a nonexistent luxury, causing you a great deal of stress, negatively impacting your health, making you constantly grumpy or agitated, and just all around making your life miserable, you need to start looking for another way to make ends meet. Honestly, I would take a pay cut if it meant that I would not have to go to a job I hate.

2. God blessed me with the opportunity to raise and love Christian. That is my passion and my duty. The line about not leaving the molding of your child's mind in the hands of others mirrors my reasons for wanting to homeschool Christian.

3. So many people let money rule their lives. They worry about the lack of money. When they have money, they spend so much time figuring out how they can spend it to show other people how successful they are. People often say that money is the root of all evil. That, however is a misquote. In fact, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Don't let money, or the lack thereof, take over your life.

4. Reciprocity is another essential part of true wealth. Being able to and actually taking the time to help those less fortunate than you is a sign that you are in a good place -- not just financially, but as a person. Typing this, I am reminded of a friend who , when I was really struggling during my first few months as a single mom, took the time to reach out to me. She talked to me and listened. She gave me words of encouragement. She also helped me out financially. And I didn't even ask her to. She saw that I was in need and she took it upon herself to help me fulfill that need. I will never forget that act of  kindness or what it represented. For all I know, she may not have been in a great financial situation herself, but she still gave what she could to help my little family. To me, that is a sign of true wealth.

So what about you guys? What is the key to wealth for you? How do you define wealth? What matters most to you? What drives you?

Achieving Personal and Financial Freedom!!!

Hey everyone!

To be perfectly honest, I continue to struggle financially. I am not in imminent danger of eviction or repossession or even of having utilities cut off. But if things do not change SOON, those possibilities will arise. That's why I am taking some time to really do some personal development and business business building. In that order. I truly believe that you have to change your mindset to change your reality. You can join the most successful company in the world, but if you are still lazy, negative, and unwilling to step outside of your comfort zone you will not be a success. With that being said, I have been working on going after what I want, no matter what and trying to remain positive despite whatever challenges I may face. My ability to do this stems largely from my newfound faith in God as well as my renewed confidence in myself.

As those who have been reading my statuses on my personal Facebook page know, I have been with Pure Romance for a while and am now a Beachbody coach. I also regularly ghostwrite for a website that is right up my alley. It is rather challenging to juggle these three things along with being a single mom and going to school. My goal is to ultimately be able to live my life by design, not by default. To achieve personal AND financial freedom. To be able to rest assured that my bills will be paid without ever having to decide if one bill should take priority over another. To never again have to worry about being evicted or losing my car (and, thus, my means of making money). Oh, and I can't forget to mention that I want to be able to do all of this without HAVING to go back to working for someone else. I love being my own boss! And if I ever go back to working for someone else, I want it to be my CHOICE, not my only option.

I am reading a motivational/business development book by Dani Johnson that is called "First Steps to Wealth"..  I think that it will really help me to shift my attitude and change the way I do things so that I will see the results that I desire and possibly even some that I never had the courage to dream of. My mom introduced me to this author (who is VERY inspiring -- she went from being a homeless, single mother to a multi-millionaire) and I am very thankful that she did. I always appreciate when people share great info with me. So, I hope you guys don't mind if I share a little bit of what I am learning with you. Maybe something will resonate with you and help you get (back) on the path to achieving YOUR dreams.

I am on the road to freedom. Join me!

Introducing...Me!

Hi everyone...Tiffany here! For those of you who don't know me, I am the mother to an awesome little guy named Christian (currently 19.5 months). Though being a mom is my main role (and I wouldn't have it any other way), I have a lot of other things going on. I am a fulltime student at Capella University pursuing my master's in Counseling psychology. I am a business owner (Pure Romance consultant and Beachbody coach). I am an aspiring author (Last year I started working on a teen fantasy novel and am looking forward to getting back to it soon). I am a freelance journalist. I do all of this...alone.

I have been a single mom for over a year and it has definitely been a challenge. I have been through a lot in these past three years. Entered into a great relationship that quickly went to hell. Endured two years of emotional and (at times) physical abuse. After becoming single, I went through a lot of financial struggles. And, honestly, I am still struggling. But at least I am staying afloat. And, more importantly -- I am happy. And so is my son. My house is not always clean (in fact, I sometimes have to turn down requests for visits from friends because my house is so embarrasing, lol). I'm not the best cook. My time management skills are suspect at best. My organizational skills are atrocious. I am a professional procrastinator. Yeah, it's challenging. But I do what is best for my son...always.

I owe a great deal of thanks and glory to God. He has definitely proven his existence to me in these past few years. I know many doubt Him and many more are just outright against Him. But, for me and my family, God is everything. Without Him here to lean on and to pull me up when I can't gather the strength to get up myself, I don't know where I would be.

Anyways, I never knew that my life would take me down this path. Had you asked me 5 years ago where I would be right now, it would not have been here. But, honestly, there are few things in my life that I regret and even fewer things that I would actually change. The Butterfly Effect may have been a "meh" movie (Sorry, Ashton, but you will always be Kelso to me), but the concept is so true. You never know what changing even the smallest detail in your life will result in. With that being said, I am grateful for the things that have happened to me. Each event has taught me a lesson. Each situation has helped me to develop a little bit more. Each hardship has strengthened me.

 I am on the road to becoming the woman and mother that God has created me to be. I invite you to join me in my journey.

Single Mommy Warrior and Stinkbutt Ninja!!!!

Disclaimer: This post is very rushed. You'll have to excuse me. There was so much to condense into one post. Lol

Wow, so I suck. I have not posted in, like, a year. Well, eight months, but come on Tiffany. Such a slacker. Lol. How to describe life since my last update? Exciting. Challenging. Awesome. Frustrating. Unbelievable. If anything this period of time has taught me:

1. God is definitely real and is working in my life in big ways. I never doubted His existence and have always been a Christian. But I never had a real testimony of His greatness. Well, now I do. Despite being chronically unemployed and not having any true source of income, I was always able to pay my bills for my car, my house (though I did end up having to move out of my apartment to a much nicer yet cheaper HOUSE), and utilities.  At one point I had no clue where I was going to live. Then the people across the street from my parent moved out and I went over there and asked if it was going to be rented. He said yes. I asked how much (and was nervous about the answer), and when he said $350 a month for a 2 bedroom/2 bath house with a big backyard I jumped on it! lol. When I was at a point where I NEEDED a job, somehow I always found one and was always hired on the spot. When I couldn't take my last job any longer, I realized that I had been sitting on an amazing business opportunity (Pure Romance) for several months not realizing what a gold mine it was (I had joined the company in November, but didn't start doing anything until January. I have since added 5 people to my team and am working on getting my sales up)Now I am able to be a stay at home mom and STILL pay the bills. And all because God has my life in his hands. I definitely give Him the credit and glory for my survival and happiness.

2. Tears are only temporary. Despite me being able to pull through as far as finances, there have been some huge hurdles. Basically I did someone a favor involving money. I didn't realize that the money was not deducted from my account immediately, so when I checked my balance I assumed that that was money I had to spend. Then when they FINALLY deducted the money from my account, I overdrafted. I (without ever planning on utilizing it) had enrolled for a $500 overdraft limit when I opened my bank account. I knew how it worked. What I didn't know was that if you overdrafted, you would not receive any notice that you had. So here I am using my card for regular things. Toiletries. Food . Diapers. Not even anything big. And EVERY time I swiped my card, they charged that amount PLUS a $35 fee to my bank account. It took me two days to notice it. I had an order to place from a party I had done and was checking to make sure I had enough in my account to cover it. My bank statement was several HUNDRED dollars in the negative. WTF?

Heart racing I rushed to the bank. The lady at the window pulled up my account and told me that all of my money was gone. I was just like "How?" WHen she explained it to me and I came to realize that it was not a fluke, I broke down crying in the drive thru. All I could think about was the fact that I had NO MONEY but my rent and car note were due soon. And when I say I was crying, I mean I was crying. Tears flowing, eyes bloodshot, hands raised to God asking "What do I do"? The lady at the window started crying too. She credited $200 back to my account but that was the most she could do. At the time Christian had nearly $400 in his savings account. This was something that I was very proud of. That I was able to even begin investing in his future. I ended up having to use up nearly all of his savings just to get my balance back out of the negative. All of my hard work...gone in 10 seconds. Just thinking about that day makes me cry all over agian. That sense of complete and utter helplessness and failure. *sigh*

Then there was the day my electricity got cut off. Now, this was more to do with my lack of memory. I forgot when my bill was due. I came back home after being gone for a week to find my lights off, the house freezing, the food in the fridge spoiled and the food in the freezer in danger of spoiling. My house is all electric so I could not even cook or take a hot bath. I immediately got on the phone with the electric company to pay the bill and have them come out. They could not come until the next day. In the meantime, Christian is sitting there shivering so hard is teeth are chattering  while he keeps repeating "Mama mama mama". Of course, I broke down then. Fail. Again.

And, though I hate to admit it, I cried when Tyrell's first "baby mama" contacted me to tell me that not only was he having sex with one of the same girls that he had cheated on me with while I was pregnant (and who he probably met up with when he took a week vacation to go back home not too long before he left for good), but that she was living with him (in his mom's basement, the loser), had gotten her pregnant, AND was engaged to her. Now, I don't love him. In the least. Sometimes I have the horrible thought that my life would be so much simpler if he were dead (Bad Tiffany!). But that sh!t hurt. Mind you, he has not been in contact with us since I told him that there was absolutely no way that I was moving to Baltimore. That was in June of last year. He has not called/texted/emailed me AT ALL to even ask if Christian was ok. Not even on his birthday. No presents. No monetary assistance. Nothing. To have him move on so quickly, with no regrets apparently hurt. For him to get away without any responsibilities while I struggle made me mad. To have him act as though my son does not matter or even exist pissed me the fuck off. So now I am making the moves to preserve me and my son's happiness. And that's all I will say about that on here. :)

3. So many other strong, smart, beautiful women go through the same thing. I have so many friends who end forced into Single Mommydom. Men suck. I am learning that that is more reality than exaggeration. How someone can hurt the ones they love (be it through physical or emotional abuse, infidelity, or abandonment/neglect) I will NEVER understand. But what I do know is that it is not us who are the weak ones. It's you "men". The ones who give in to temptation. Who don't know a fanfrickingtastic thing when you have it sitting right in front of you. The ones who create life and then toss it aside as though it does not matter. Who walk out on your wives, fiances, sons, and daughters without looking back. Who live your lives in a carefree manner while WE raise your children, and then decide to pop up out of nowhere several years down the road to reap the benefits of what we have put out blood, sweat, and tears into. You little boys are pathetic and, honestly, the best thing you have done with your lives is to provide us with our children. You serve no other purpose. Just thought I would share that.

Ok, lol. I feel myself getting riled up. Ugh! Where have all the good men gone?

Anyways, life is great. Not perfect. Still not where I need to be financially, but I'm getting there. More importantly, my son is truly the best thing that I could have asked for. I am sooooooooooooooVERY blessed to be his mommy. :D